proba tive org archives

I live in Ottawa now. There's some miscellany to be extricated from the Jeep and trailer (not Uhaul's this time). But we're here. Dixie and I, that is. She's warily exploring the new digs. No doubt wondering about the invisible dog she's smelling. (He's being dog sat while my housemate is on vacation.)

World record move for moi. Talk to you again in a couple of days. G'night...

Oh, wait! It's also Michael and Tyla's anniversary. Happy Anniversary, Happy Anniversary. Happy Anniversary. Haaappy Anniversary! Congratulations kids.

Okay, NOW I can go to sleep. Yay.

I've been trying to recuperate from the Impossible Move that just took place. I know, that's a bit of a contradiction, but it seemed an impossible task and has turned out only to be extremely difficult and exhausting after all.

I say "trying to recuperate" because I find it difficult to relax as I know I should while surrounded by a jumble of boxes. The trailer (my little one) got unloaded along with the Jeep the other day and then I ran out of mental and physical steam. I hoped the holiday weekend would mean a slight reprieve in the parking restrictions on the street in front of the house and I was lucky in that respect.

On Tuesday (that was yesterday, I believe) I confidently approached the handiest storage place you could imagine: just a short walk from my new abode. Their yellow pages ad indicated vehicle storage was part of their service offering and I had taken a walk past the establishment the day before, observing that the parking lot was more empty than full. Cool, I thought, lots of room for my cute little trailer.

Not that simple after all. They are phasing out vehicle storage in favour of building more indoor units. Bummer. One more night and part of today out on the street. (No ticket again!) This afternoon I found a place in Westboro that has lots of space and left it there.

Next up is reorganizing the basement that is my part of this house. Partly because I absolutely must clean it to reduce my allergic reactions and partly to make it more workable. During the unloading of the truck, there wasn't time for strategic placement of furniture and shelving. For that matter, it was difficult to estimate what was best placed where when there was more to come. And I was too tired to think.

But really, a lot has gotten done over the past week and a half:
1) The first truck was loaded and unloaded with the help of many people, including Stephanie, Michael, George, Stewart and Mike Hoye. There's a whole 'nuther post coming about the disaster that was the first day of this move. That was a long long day indeed. Stay tuned.

2) The box spring that was handily made more, um, bendable by The Man With The Leatherman Saw was made safe to sleep on (honestly, it *did* tip finally!) by the installation of several mending plates by moi. And only two trips to the hardware store required - right Steph? Sheesh!

3) Internet service was installed and got up and running here in Ottawa with only a minor snafu regarding the appointment time that delayed my return to Kingston by a day.

4) A Uhaul trailer was rented, loaded, driven to Ottawa, unloaded and driven back to Kingston in 24 hours by moi again.

5) The final push of packing/tossing/recycling and loading of the Jeep and my small trailer as well as a cursory 'sweep' of the empty apartment was completed with the help of Larissa and Chris in Kingston that same day - the last day of the month and the one by which I had been ordered to be gone by the Tribunal.

6) The final unloading was done; the internet connection was put through some Roger's induced chaos but survived; and today the trailer was placed into storage and I removed the useless Roger's software from my PC (it was completely unnecessary as it turned out and annoyingly appointed itself as my default browser - requiring me to 'log in' each time it wanted to display a page.... DUH! Besides, it was slow as molasses and once I'd figured out how to point Thunderbird at their email server, just taking up space IMO.)

I have an offer of help if I need any more this week, so I think it's safe enough for me to start to relax.

Maybe.

Many thanks to all who made the Impossible happen.

Today's been a cleaning and reorging day down here in the basement of 424 Bay Street, Apt #1. If you're in the area, feel free to come by to heckle, cheer, entertain yourself and/or distract me from my chaos.

The task at hand is about half done. I noticed on a recent trip up to the main floor that it has started to get dark out so it must be time to make some dinner and give the old body a break.

As promised in the last, very long post, today's entry includes the incredible events of the first, very long day (24 hours that is) of this moving experience.

I had earlier in the week contacted the Odd Job Squad and retained the services of two members of the squad. They were asked to meet me at 10 am at the storage facility wherein some of my stuff was stashed. From there we were going to proceed to my apartment where they would move the items that I could not move on my own, nor help move even with one helper.

At least that was the plan.

I picked up the huge Uhaul truck at about 9:30 and was on my way to the storage facility when one of my helpers called to say he was in the wrong place. After a short chat, I told him I'd come and get him and his bicycle but first I had to stop by the right place in case the other helper was there to let him know what's going on. My second helper was there as requested. I stopped the truck to inform him of my side trip.

But wait: the truck won't start now. I've been out of the Uhaul parking lot for all of 15 minutes counting stoplights!

The two storage facilities are run by the same folks, and the first (now stranded) helper had called from the office phone of the other one before calling my cell, so Kim, a very helpful and kind employee of the storage facility called to relay a message that he'd have to bike over after all.

It took a whole hour and a lot of unnecessary discussion before Uhaul agreed to give me another truck and come and get the non-starter. In fact, they didn't actually agree to this until I showed up in a cab with the keys to the first truck demanding my money back. The manager had the audacity to tell me they couldn't give me my money back because I still 'had' the truck and that I should have called the 800 number for help. The district 'rep' or whatever told them to do what I'd asked an hour earlier, so I left with a different truck and they sent people over to the storage place to pick up the dead one.

My stranded helper had made his way to where the dead truck and myself and the other helper were before I left for Uhaul, so I told both helpers that I'd be back in a bit with a truck. When I did return, one of them had gone to get something to eat. Fine. The late comer and I started moving things on trolleys - watching for the other guy.

He was never seen again, so I ended up doing at least half of the lifting and loading.

By now we were slightly behind schedule, but still trucking, as it were. Stephanie called just then. Bad news - she was going to be several hours late in arriving to help with the chaos. I was unimpressed with the helper who'd remained and wasn't up for moving furniture that I'd arranged folks to help with, so I put in a call to a backup helper and awaited a response, keeping the unimpressive guy in a wait and see state.

When Steph arrived I took a break to eat and changed my strategy about the first helper and his (as yet unknown to me) buddies coming to my apartment to move things. They sounded 'dodgy' to use a term I've picked up from Stephanie and I wasn't comfortable with three of them arriving at night, none of whom could be contacted by phone. I'd been seriously considering postponing the rest of the move until the next day until: luckily, the backup guy and his very able girlfriend agreed to come by at about 7pm to get the big things out of the apartment for us.

It was 10:30 before the last of the largish and packed things were on board and 2 am before Stephanie convinced me to stop packing and get driving. There were folks arranged to meet us in Ottawa to unload this stuff at 2pm the next day.

No rooms were to be had in Kingston, so we drove to Brockville and stayed there from 4am until about 10am. No worries - it's only a couple hours' drive from Brockville to Ottawa.

Right.

Unless you're so tired you miss the exit for the 416. Indeed, I still do not know how that happened. I know I saw the exit for 1000 Islands Parkway and I know the next one is the 416. (I'm blaming it on transports. There must have been one in the right place to obscure the signage - right?) It wasn't until I saw signs for Hwy 20 (which is in Quebec) that I realized things were wrong. Very wrong.

We informed the crew through their point man, Michael, of our delays and boogied up a secondary route. Luckily none of the volunteers deserted this time.

A flurry of unloading and other fun things ensued per the previous post.

The cleaning and moving about of furniture combined with little sleep (in part due to grumbling sinuses) has left me moving somewhat more slowly today.

Although I am certain I could be considered due for a day of complete and utter rest, I will continue to plug away as my energy returns and muscles stop bitching every time I move. Well, as long as these things occur before early evening that is!

Managed to have a good chat with Stephanie this morning, followed by a very brief call to Michael, whom I awoke out in California. Oops! I didn't know what his schedule was and apologized for that. Once he told me it was just about time for him to be getting ready to fly out again I stopped feeling bad about it.

In pursuit of mental and physical recuperation, I've made a commitment to myself to walk at least once a day, so I'll be working that into this day of rest somehow. I've been trying to go a little further each day and yesterday morning made it out to Elgin St. and back before starting the basement project.

Maybe today I'll amble on down to the Arboretum to visit the trees. Before it rains. (Walking will happen even if it rains - going all the way to the Experimental Farm may not, though.)

What exactly is up with this weather anyway? I thought the low pressure/rainy season was centred on Kingston, but no, here it is hanging out in Ottawa too. To be fair, the sun was out very intermittently a bit earlier but has hidden itself again.

Enough tired and sore complaining for now I think.

From what I've been reading about managing my internal demons, exercise is coming in at the top of the list in the toolkit. Hence my at-least-once-a-day commitment to walking at the moment.

After watching two movies that were in hindsight probably not good choices for mood management, Monster and Big Fish, I decided to force myself to walk. I mean, I can cry AND walk at the same time.

It was a little late for the Arboretum, but I did make it as far as Dow's Lake. Hopefully the sleep genie will be encouraged to visit tonight as a result.

Yesterday's all day panic attack surrounding the jobless state I am in (whether it was real or imagined future obstacles that triggered it matters not) had variously positive and not so positive side-effects/results.

Not So Positive:
- I ate very little (too many butterflies)
- I didn't go for a walk (unless you count looking for a quiet phone booth - which I finally gave up as a lost cause)
- I stayed up too late (waiting for someone to pick some stuff up)

Positive:
- I made email and phone contact with just about everyone I know here in Ottawa
- Many people responded, some with a promise to keep their eyes peeled, some with more leads
- Some have put my resume into 'systems' within their companies of employ =^)
- Even a web place responded within hours, saying they'd call me if the offer that was out fell through

Today was the payback day for all the extra stressing, etc: my body and mind went AWOL on me. The weather seemed to be in harmony with my need for bedrest, bringing two really loud thunderstorms around during the morning and then later in the afternoon.

Once I'd started to recuperate and calm my mind today, my appetite returned so I'm not in danger of being blown away by the wind any time soon. I'm not going to stay up much longer, though: tonight, when tiredness descends I'll be going along with it.

No kidding. And look at all the folks out here with great experience looking for work. The better software really could be created by some of us. If only the wireless service providers cared enough to think they needed it. Maybe I ought not lump all of them together like that. Some might be better at this 'people moving about' (aka mobility :-) thing.

If yours is, count yourself smarter than the average wireless end user. Somehow I suspect from grumblings I've heard off and on that mine is typical.

Okay, so what's the rant about anyway?

I just moved from Kingston to Ottawa. Both in the same area code. Okay. A couple of days ago I was informed that people from Ottawa who called me were making long distance calls. I'd thought that with the change in address being registered with Rogers online (partly due to the internet service being connected) they had automatically changed my service area for my cell phone. The fact that calls I made to Ottawa numbers were being charged as local added weight to my ASSumption. (At least it did in my mind.) In reality it was not so.

So today I called the help line for the Pay As You Go service and was informed of two things, only one of which I had anticipated. It's the other thing that's the cause of the rant, but really, the first one could be as well. Okay, okay... I'm getting to them.

The first thing was that my cell phone number would have to be changed in order to change my local calling area. Even though it's the same area code. (Lazy buggers, all they'd have to do is put the number in the database for the Ottawa service area. Well, that's all they should have to do.) I get over that pretty quickly.

The second thing is that since I have time still on my account, if I was to get a new Ottawa number right now, I'd lose that time. Huh? That took a little astonishment and double checking on my part that I really had heard the guy correctly. So there's no way for them to, 'transfer' my account from Kingston to Ottawa, change the number (because they need to) and keep my balance intact.

Kind of sounds a bit like there's actually a bunch of little Rogers Wireless companies serving each city and they don't play well together, doesn't it? So, I asked one more terribly hopeful question, given that I'd now have to use all my time up (or kiss it goodbye!) before actually switching to a new number.

I asked if I could select a new number now and then just switch at the time the time ran out. Nope. Can't do that either. So, I'll be having to wait to even find out what my new number will be, too.

Ain't telecom grand? Wouldn't it be nice if it were grander?

Yesterday I drove to Kingston in my trusty Jeep to confer with my psychiatrist. Well, and to see what, if anything, he could Rx for my current overloaded brain circuitry (short of a reset, that is!). He's a really thorough guy. I like him. I'm going to miss him when he heads back to England.

Anyway, he reviewed the lab results, read the liver specialist's reports and won't be Rx'ing any more magic relief until (possibly) after my next liver clinic visit in a couple of weeks.

We did talk about the state of my life and head, too. His opinion is that I'm doing very well with my coping strategies and (I don't know why he says these kinds of things, but they make me feel good so I'm passing them on) my son should be proud of me. I am presuming he meant that I haven't given up, nor taken any further turns toward the 'stalled brain' state in which I found myself during the week of my horrendous recent move.

When I take a break from telling myself I should be doing better and look at the circumstances I am coping with, it is a little bit much: chronic emotional stress compounded by illness and unemployment topped off with an unanticipated move. No wonder I'm exhausted - physically and emotionally.

He said something else that I've been chewing on. It was in response to my telling him I was trying to make some sense out of my life using some insights into myself that have been brought to my attention in the past few months. "Your life makes a lot of sense." Hmmm. Maybe I should tune in to the channel everyone else is watching?

I hope it (life) starts to make the kind of sense that I can relate to fairly soon. It can't remain in total chaos forever - right? There's some theory or other about that I read sometime. If not, I'll have to invent such a theory in my own defense.

I managed to visit briefly with my friend at the Sacred Source afterwards. She told me an entertaining story of her masterful crushing of a noise by-law complaint and re-training of the officer in charge of such. (You go girl!) Got more bloodwork done as requested by the liver clinic. (Boy am I rooting for good numbers this time around! Go numbers!)

Decided to get my hair cut and then took advantage of my friend Larissa and her husband Chris' hospitality. They had offered their spare room to let me rest before returning. Such nice friends I have!

While my host and hostess were occupied elsewhere I first received an update on Stephanie's life and times, briefed her on my latest medical visit, then had a nice nap with Bonnie, the dog.

Later a lovely visit with my host and hostess and a couple of their friends ensued. It was good to talk to nice people again. As I told my shrink, I am much better when I am with people than when I am alone in my basement with my cat.

Headed back to Ottawa this afternoon after a bit of an errand and a nice chat with Chris.

The rain waited until I'd arrived back in my apartment to start up.

Ah, well, another day done.

The unfortunate consequence of 'extreme relocation' (meaning severely time- and finances-restricted) has landed me in another basement.

The unfortunate consequence of the time of year is that the heat is not yet on in the apartment.

The unfortunate consequence of forgetting that the place the trailer is currently stored closes at noon on Saturdays is that I don't have my cool space heater buddy and won't be able to retrieve him until Monday.

All of which makes my basement room uncomfortable this weekend. It's going down to single digits tonight, too.

On a brighter note, after poking around on job sites, psyching myself up for good news from the liver clinic regarding my ability to be employed full time once again, I found one I hadn't seen before. It had over a thousand postings for software engineers of various ilk in the US. The Canadian portion of that same site had under 150 postings using the same search specification.

It's too cold up here to grow software.

25 years ago today, a second miracle entered my life, adding immensely to the joy my years of mothering held, not to mention complicating her big brother's life somewhat. But in a good way.

This picture is one of my all time favourites of my girl, taken when Stephanie was still a real "Georgia Peach".

Happy Birthday, Stephanie! What were you pondering, I wonder?

[posted Aug 17, because life's like that right now]

On the job search front, I had an initial meeting with a potential employer today. The lead/contact came through one of my network of former workmates here, whom I contacted early last week to get the ball rolling. The ball is rolling faster than I'd anticipated. Faster perhaps than my liver is ready for... the specialist will give me news about that next week.

Small World:
The person who spent time with me today turns out to have started at Nortel in Belleville the same month and year that I did a couple of decades ago.

Better World:
The neurologist is referring me to a surgeon so the bone spur that is compressing a nerve can be removed. The herniated discs were not detectable on the latest MRI, either. Apparently they move around like that sometimes. The best part of this encounter today was hearing "I don't think [the surgeon] will keep us waiting very long."

Good, eh? I can hardly wait. This is better than Christmas.

Today I reconfigured my office space so as to place the PC and printer as far away from the water leak in the ceiling as possible.

Yeah. I wouldn't have noticed anything amiss except that I'd left some coloured printer paper (don't even ask why I have lots of this) on top of the printer while I printed resumes on white stuff.

Yesterday I noticed the coloured paper was wrinkled-like and then that there were streaks of pink running along the cover and down the front of the printer.

The landlord has been informed and today's move was a defensive one against further leakages and potential ceiling repairs.

Now, what was I doing before this little interruption? Oh, right... attempting to organize a ton of disorganized paperwork.

Today's search for the liver test results that had been in a recollectable place in the old apartment and which I was (pretty) certain I'd placed in a sort of "Important Crap You'll Need Pretty Soon" grouping during the chaotic move earlier this month took most of my day due to the distractions presented along the way.

Some amusing and some annoying and some just plain useless. The useless were tossed - a baby step toward more rationalization and organization of papers and memorabilia and at times, paper memorabilia. It'll happen, I remind myself, it's just going to take a while. It took a long time to accumulate all this stuff and it's going to take a little while to eliminate the non-essential parts, too.

A bit of a paraphase of the statement my GYN made a few months after my successful delivery of my bouncing baby boy in regards to exactly when I may fit myself back into my beloved jeans. It took 9 months to put it on, it'll take a few months to get rid of it.

He was right, of course... and jeans rule!

This search and recover mission is in anticipation of an appointment with the Liver Clinic in Kingston tomorrow morning. I am to hear the experts opinion on the state of my damaged organ and I am rather anxious but at the same time hoping for a clean bill that will allow me to go forward with the get-a-job project unfettered by limiting health considerations.

Murphy rules in medicine as well as life. Because there was great interest in my vitamins and supplements the first time I went to the Liver Clinic at Hotel Dieu Hospital, and hadn't brought them - because I hadn't know of the interest - I did bring them today. In a knapsack. And they were very uninteresting. So there.

Good NEWS First:
* I've lost weight (people say I look healthy so I'm taking this a good thing)
* the liver numbers have tumbled farther than ever since they've been tracked.

Not So Good:
* the doctor thinks the numbers should be a lot better by now (did another set of tests today to check again)
* antibody tests are elevated, warranting a biopsy to determine whether anti-immune hepatitis is an underlying factor that got aggrevated by the antibiotics damaging the liver (unproven speculation at this point)

Good NEWS Second:
*I'm being transferred to an excellent liver specialist right here in Ottawa and should hear from her in a matter of weeks.
*all my mood chemicals have the liver doctor's stamp of approval so I can stop just gritting my teeth

Today I woke at Chris and Larissa's apartment again. They have been most gracious in allowing me to use their spare room. I didn't sleep a wink the night before the appointment and was really too worn out to drive back to Ottawa the same day.

We had a feast of pancakes made with whole wheat and hemp flour and doused with Canadian maple syrup. Lots of talk and some giggling later in the night (don't recall the subject, oh, now I do: A story my friend at the Sacred Source told me when I visited her after the liver place. )

My friend had answered the phone and was asked and answered the following questions (not a word of lie here!)

Caller: Do you sell bibles?
SS: No we don't.
Caller: Do you know who does?
SS: The Catholic Church and the Anglican Church both have book stores at which you could find one.
Caller: Oh. I don't want a Catholic Bible. They put things in them.

[At this point in her story, my friend indicates the she was wondering what they may put in them? Watermarks that sublminally call for repentences and conversion? Or just threats of being sent to hell if you sin?]

The conversation continues:
SS: In that case, you may want to try Indigo.
Caller: Who is that?
SS: A large bookstore downtown.
Caller: Do you have their number?
SS: Actually, no I don't.
Caller: Why not?

[Um, because this isn't directory services and you didn't pay 75cents? - that's what I wanted my friend to have said.]

Back to the visit with Chris and Larissa. Larissa was a little more nervous about their trip to Russia on which they were leaving tomorrow. Understandable given the news items about the crashing of two planes at the same time but in different areas after leaving Moscow on Tuesday. (Tues our time).

I eventually had to head back to Ottawa and gave Larissa a hug, telling her to be safe.

She and her husband are spending a whole month travelling around meeting relatives of Larissa's some of whom haven't been visited in decades. I'll just have to make a trip back to hear all about it.

More things than my stressed out brain can handle are going on now. Depression and/or anxiety. Take your pick.

During the chat with the liver guy, he said there were two kinds of people in my situation - those who want to wait and see how things are in the next couple of months and then, perhaps perform a biopsy and those who just want to know as soon as possible.

I told him I'd read about auto-immune hepatitis and it wasn't good news. He said they have very good success in treating it now. I said if I could control my mood better I could possibly handle more bad news. Which is when we discussed the mood chemicals and the pain control helpers that I've been doing without for the past several months.

Once he okayed those drugs, I agreed to a biopsy to find out. The devil you know vs the one you don't - right?

Further discussions of what the procedure entailed and the fact of at least two more trips from Ottawa to Kingston for me resulted in the agreement that my file would be sent to the specialist at the Ottawa Hospital. Much better sense, really and the doctor has great confidence in his Ottawa colleague.

The prospects of more bad news were juxtaposed with an inquiry regarding contract work. A formerly non-disclosed parameter was revealed and declined by moi: flying to San Jose for 2 weeks at a time. I told them at another time, when I wasn't having so many medical appointments, no problem.

'Course this sounded (to me) like the kiss of death for a potential work arrangement to be worked out. But NO. This (potential) project will require other supporting efforts here in Ottawa and we both agreed I could do that.

Some people are going on vacation and if there are questions I may be called directly. Or not if the potentiality dissolves....BUT I am not to worry if I don't hear from them until the following week when people are back from vacation.

Is it just me or are these guys starting to sound like I already work there?

And this IS ME: wondering how I'm going to get it together enough to work part-time within the next two weeks. My internal and external worlds are severely disorganized at the moment, casting doubts in my mind about my ability to even make the decision to accept the job and then to show up as expected (you know - with a brain that works.)

I do know I am much better around people and with specific tasks at hand. Still, I also know that I am usually much more confident, decisive and better at remembering things. All things I think they have a right to expect - non?

This is good news for those of us with friends travelling to Russia this week.

I've been off the drugs that help with anxiety/depression symptoms for several months now, because of concern and coddling of the damaged liver. I was sliding back into the vicious cycle but only moderately according to the mini-assessment the social worker did a few weeks before the upheaval of the move.

I'd been assisted briefly during the worst of the move but then no more chemical assistance was available until after this past liver clinic and the okay from the specialist. The orginal 'plan' the psychiatrist had hatched was that I would call him the first week in September and he'd review the report from the specialist and (perhaps) Rx some more assistance for me.

So I'd been gritting my teeth and bearing it while it was deemed necessary. But with the recent developments and the continuing slide I was starting to get seriously non-functional. For instance, it took me most of the day to make the decision to go to the Emergency Room and see what they could do for me. It's not pretty, that's for sure.

0ff I went and a short-term supply has been provided along with a mechanism to gain further assessment and treatment here in Ottawa. It only took a few hours, but I was exhausted by the end of it all.

Off to Costco to get the Rx's filled and a couple of grocery items. Then back to the apartment at 8:30 or so.

While I was in the waiting area I had lots of time to read. The first section of the Ottawa Citizen had this article about a surprising turnabout regarding the anticipated negative effects of ecotourism on the Grizzly Bear populations. Their article isn't available on line unless you're a subscriber, but it appears to have been based on the same journal as this one from NewScientist.Com.

If you're not into reading links, basically the clever female bears have come to understand that the males are scared off by the noise of the human observers and the scaredy cats have changed their eating patterns slightly so as to avoid the tourists. The females bring their young to the feeding areas while the ecotourists are in attendance and manage to eat more themselves since they aren't having to watch for males who may inflict harm on the young.

The Citizen article quoted an expert of some sort who says this will lead to healthier mother bears and larger litters, both of which will be a positive thing for the grizzly bear population - a positive that comes out of a projected negative at that!

Maybe that last statement isn't quite true. I think the orginal concern was that ecotourism would change the bears' eating habits. So that has happened. But the rest of the orginal concern was that any change that occurred to the eating habits would necessarily have a negative impact. And that has not happened.

It's way too early to expect any changes in my head as a result of the newly prescribed chemicals, but I was kind of hoping...

Yesterday I succumbed to an irrestistible urge to nap in the afternoon. But managed to get up and walk the dog (I'm dog sitting this weekend for my roommate) on time - both last night and this morning. And I didn't feel all dragged out, either - well no more than is to be expected on a rainy Sunday.

Actually, it felt a bit 'normal' albeit from a distant time, to be walking quiet city streets with a canine companion.

I've been (naturally) somewhat interested in news related to my current mental challenges and happened upon some new findings the other day. Thought I'd share them with whomever is still reading this blog of mine.

This recent press release Depression Traced to Overactive Brain Circuit from the National Institute of Mental Health lends support to and opens the possibility of further study of the genetics underlying the tendency to depression.

Interesting I thought.

Well, the anxiety-busters have been doing their jobs the past couple of days. Maybe a bit too well, though - I'm being assailed by naps. Thus far I've given in, figuring I probably need the down time.

My system needs some time to adjust. I shall attempt to impersonate a very patient person as often as possible the next few days.

Yesterday was a normal 'feeling' day for the most part with enough energy and focus to get a medium sized domestic chore accomplished. Turned out not to be an insurmountable mountain after all!

Today was not yesterday, that's for sure. Maybe tomorrow will be, though.

I successfully completed the protocol for accessing psych assistance at the hospital. That takes place on Thursday morning. Faster than Kingston, I'll say: I requested a referral in Feb/03 and saw the psych in Aug/03. I didn't go through the ER though - it was through my first GP there, so who knows?

Today I was up and out for a walk early in the morning. Like 5:45 early. It was the second day I'd awoken at my (previous to the liver thing) habitual time and I couldn't conscience NOT going out.

The sky was all grey and rain potential looking at that hour. Got back and had nothing else to do, so I rested, made a list of a number of errands and things that I wanted to get done and plugged away at them.

The sun came out and the day was quite enjoyable weather speaking. Many things on the list were accomplished. A few remain but I ran out of energy about an hour ago.

Snacks for dinner tonight and then another walk (maybe with the dog...). That should do it.

No nap attacks today. Woohoo!