Saturday September 3, 2005
Media stories to the contrary, small unappreciated acts of strength and grace are taking place everywhere. Watch closely and you will witness them in the most unexpected places. Encourage those engaged in these labours of love when you get a chance. It really is the little things that matter. And the little ones.
The other night I was on a late evening bus from the Ottawa Folk Festival venue to the transitway. A young woman sat across from me, holding the stroller her youngest child was no longer riding in front of her. She had three youngsters with her, the younger two choosing to explore the seat belts on the bench next to me while the oldest sat next to the young woman, exploring the back of that bench, talking with his mother about what he saw out the window.
Though I don't understand Spanish well enough to know what any of them said to one another, I understand mothering enough to appreciate what was taking place. The children were active, moving from the bench I sat on to the one she was on and back a few times, chattering to each other but not being a nuisance - just being children. She commanded respect by her way with the little ones. Their behaviour was a credit to her character and patience. Her tone was never angry or intimidating. She spoke calmly and clearly without repetition but with a pleasant and understanding authority. Rather than catering to the children's desire to have the window where they sat opened, she instructed and demonstrated without leaving her seat how they might accomplish this. They were unable to achieve what they were after but even at that late hour there was no whining or pleading; no cries of frustration.
I watched and listened without letting the children know I was paying attention to them. She was paying attention to her little ones and no doubt knew I was as well. When the youngest had not picked up his sandals from the floor of the bus she left them there until it appeared they may be in the way of boarding passengers.
As their stop approached they lined up in anticipation, the youngest hopping back into the stroller and putting on his shoes. The little one had been given the privilege of making the bell ring for their stop, but didn't respond to her instruction - the only one in English thus far. She took his hand and together they pushed the button. Finally, standing facing the rest of the bus and waiting for the shoe putter onner to finish, she looked toward the ceiling of the bus, sighed, shook her head and smiled as only a patient mother can. As it turned out, the ring had been premature, so she apologized to the driver and thanked him as they were leaving.
Just before her stop, she glanced at me and we shared a moment of understanding. I smiled to tell her I knew exactly how she felt and nodded that she was doing a good job. Her smile told me she appreciated my noticing. As she walked along the length of the bus after getting her brood safely outside, she looked in, smiled and nodded once in my direction: Goodbye.
Well behaved parents all over the world are raising well behaved children. Count on it. Encourage them if you get a chance. It's for our own good.
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