Thursday September 1, 2005
The Laws of Ducks by Ken Fussichen
Duck Law No. 1 - If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, looks like a duck and cooks like a duck, it's a duck. Restatement: All things are known by their attributes.
Duck Law No. 2 - Even under ideal circumstances, no duck, no matter how noble or well-intentioned, can be an eagle. Restatement: All things must be what they are.
Duck Law No. 3 - A duck can pretend to be an eagle except in times of adversity. Restatement: Pretense and adversity are inversely proportional; adversity reveals the true nature of all things.
Duck Law No 4 - No duck may be an eagle until it abandons its webbed feet and bill for talons and a beak. Restatement: All things remain as they are until the attributes that define them are abandoned. Then, and only then, can they evolve.
Duck Law No. 5 - Ducks are noble creatures. They shall not be penalized in the eyes of other creatures because they are not eagles. Restatement: All things are honorable if they are what they are honestly, even if they are different from you.
Duck Law No. 6 - The greatest duck that ever was cannot cannot fly as high as even a modest eagle. Restatement: If one would soar with eagles, do not swim with ducks.
Duck Law No. 7 - Ducks flock. Eagles fly alone. Ducks and eagles never mingle. Restatement: Choose company wisely.
Duck Law No. 8 - A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. Restatement: Sometimes there is no answer.
During my university career some good friends gave me the nickname Duck. Not because I hung out with ducks but because I had an unconscious habit of making a quacking noise while doing little things that required less of my brain cells than usual. Things like standing in line or wandering around a store waiting for someone else to purchase what they were after. I often didn't notice I was quacking until glancing up to find people looking quizzically in my direction. If I was with someone I'd ask them if I'd been doing it again. Either way, I'd usually smile and say "Oops."
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