Friday August 13, 2004
Yesterday I drove to Kingston in my trusty Jeep to confer with my psychiatrist. Well, and to see what, if anything, he could Rx for my current overloaded brain circuitry (short of a reset, that is!). He's a really thorough guy. I like him. I'm going to miss him when he heads back to England.
Anyway, he reviewed the lab results, read the liver specialist's reports and won't be Rx'ing any more magic relief until (possibly) after my next liver clinic visit in a couple of weeks.
We did talk about the state of my life and head, too. His opinion is that I'm doing very well with my coping strategies and (I don't know why he says these kinds of things, but they make me feel good so I'm passing them on) my son should be proud of me. I am presuming he meant that I haven't given up, nor taken any further turns toward the 'stalled brain' state in which I found myself during the week of my horrendous recent move.
When I take a break from telling myself I should be doing better and look at the circumstances I am coping with, it is a little bit much: chronic emotional stress compounded by illness and unemployment topped off with an unanticipated move. No wonder I'm exhausted - physically and emotionally.
He said something else that I've been chewing on. It was in response to my telling him I was trying to make some sense out of my life using some insights into myself that have been brought to my attention in the past few months. "Your life makes a lot of sense." Hmmm. Maybe I should tune in to the channel everyone else is watching?
I hope it (life) starts to make the kind of sense that I can relate to fairly soon. It can't remain in total chaos forever - right? There's some theory or other about that I read sometime. If not, I'll have to invent such a theory in my own defense.
I managed to visit briefly with my friend at the Sacred Source afterwards. She told me an entertaining story of her masterful crushing of a noise by-law complaint and re-training of the officer in charge of such. (You go girl!) Got more bloodwork done as requested by the liver clinic. (Boy am I rooting for good numbers this time around! Go numbers!)
Decided to get my hair cut and then took advantage of my friend Larissa and her husband Chris' hospitality. They had offered their spare room to let me rest before returning. Such nice friends I have!
While my host and hostess were occupied elsewhere I first received an update on Stephanie's life and times, briefed her on my latest medical visit, then had a nice nap with Bonnie, the dog.
Later a lovely visit with my host and hostess and a couple of their friends ensued. It was good to talk to nice people again. As I told my shrink, I am much better when I am with people than when I am alone in my basement with my cat.
Headed back to Ottawa this afternoon after a bit of an errand and a nice chat with Chris.
The rain waited until I'd arrived back in my apartment to start up.
Ah, well, another day done.
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