Thursday June 17, 2004
In my rope.
So I can hang onto it.
(F.D.R. said to do this when you get to the end of it.)
It's been that kind of a couple of weeks: noise issues with the building I live in; banking fiascos and enlisting help to sort them out; really cruddy weather for the most part; non-responses to phone calls and job contacts; ongoing fatigue and foggy brain to add to the fun. So I've been hanging on to the knot, hoping things will settle down or improve or become less hassle-prone or just go away...
Today was somewhat better, I am pleased to report. Busier than I'd anticipated and believe me, I am learning to anticipate. Yesterday I was pretty sure I wasn't up to today's plan of 2 medical appointments and harassing (okay, requesting information of) the liver clinic, having spent that whole day in my jammies and being exhausted just reading and being me at the moment. I gave myself permission to rest up for today, but doing little left me crashing early and awakening again as if two bulldozers ran over me.
But today turned out better and I am less worn out than I had predicted. A third meeting (Queen's Legal Aid is helping with the landlord slaying project) got appended to my day and went swimmingly well, too.
And maybe, just maybe I know why today was good.
On the weekend I purchased a couple of nutritional supplements in Watertown that cannot be sold here in Canada. You'll have to be shot now that you've read that last sentence. Sorry. I started the pregnenolone on the way back from NY but noticed little or no effect, so I upped it after a couple of days and still could not discern any reduction in mental lapses or increase in energy, which was the whole point. So today I added the second supplement, DHEA, and I have noticed some positive changes.
Even my therapist said I didn't seem as depressed as the last visit. I know, I know, it's a bit early to make any real determination and I did tell him that my mood is definitely improved when I have people with whom to interact, but interacting with people has not had any effect on my memory to my knowledge and today I did not lose any words or even my keys. The keys have been getting lost, er misplaced, quite regularly these days. The weather started out gloomy and overcast today as well, so I don't think it was a positive influence.
I received some useful information regarding naturopath and homeopath practitioners in and near Kingston as well as a very interesting perspective on myself from the newest addition to my helping crew. She's been there, done that and has a similar family background as I it turns out. This will be the third person in the past week and a half who has accidently crossed my path and who gets it.
All in all, I am guardedly encouraged by all of these positive events. Oh, and it turns out I am not taking much that is harmful to my liver. I just need to find new multivitamins and maybe one other thing that doesn't have some non-medicinal ingredients that were marked as not good by the liver doctor.