Wednesday August 24, 2005
Just a short public notice for the few who have misread or extrapolated to some erroneous conclusions based on a previous post.
A lot of assumptions have apparently been made two of which I would like to set straight. This post was and still is about my emotional reaction to being excluded (meaning not included) from an emotionally extremely important event by my sister Linda (who was the planner and has now fairly neatly outed herself).
Aside from the fact that my blog is my blog, my feelings are also my feelings. I have apparently surprised some people by admitting to some less than comfortable feelings publicly.
To be very very clear to the "initialled" people: this is not about any of you - unless you want it to be. As I said in the original post, it is not about "Why" and it is not about the actual event even, so much as it is about "what" the event and my exclusion showed me about one of the most important relationships in my life.
To anyone who is reading this blog and is uncomfortable with what's going on in my life all I can suggest is checking back once in a while to see when it has passed. To anyone who thinks I may have lost my equilibrium because my reactions seem out of character all I can say is there is much that I will not air in this public forum at the moment, in part out of discretion and in part because I am still sorting things out for myself.
To anyone who wishes to send a private message, clicking on my name in the right hand column will allow you to do so. Public messages are welcome as well.
Um, I'm not sure but I think you might be refering to M & T getting to meet N this weekend. Much of what you've written here is far too criptic for me to make sense of.
When I reread it I wondered what the heck the money reference was about, and think maybe it's not about what I thought.
Anyway if you're trying to say you're upset with me and you'd like an explanation you need to be more direct, I can hardly respond to things I'm not sure mean me.
Then I read about an 'event, carefully planned much in advance', and think, no, it can't be my thing as it was not planned much in advance at all, but rather thrown together at the last moment, and was not confirmed as a go until the night before.
As for the 'not wanted' remark, nothing could be further from the truth. Who, when arranging a casual meeting for a drink, thinks to invite people who live in other cities? 'Studiously kept in the dark." This is what makes me think I'm misreading this and it's not at all about what I think.
And the bite me remark leaves me entirely baffled. Am I to understand that without any explanation on why things went together the way they did, you've decided that a relationship with me or N is too lopsided?
I see you feel hurt and excluded. I assure you, you were not excluded, there are reasonable causes for how this all came together. But it sounds like you've already made your mind up, and that you feel we 'owe' you an explantion.
As it happens, she is anxious to meet you, as I have told her about what you have meant to me in my life. Also she has heard me often comment on how she looks not unlike you in ways. Of course, behaving like this, and the 'bite me' comment could mitigate that, I'm thinking.
I can only hope I am wrong and that this cryptic entry is about some other family event, which could easily be the case as much of this doesn't make much sense.
So if you have a problem and would like to talk, call your sister. If you've already decided you know all about what was going on and that you were being purposely excluded and you're not having that, the world can just, 'Bite me", maybe don't call your sister.
Otherwise glad to hear about your job offers, I'm excited for you. And about the future boxspring ectomy, sounds like it would be a very irritating thing to be finally rid of.
Hope you have a good day,
Love Linda