Saturday August 20, 2005
Previous to the last half hour, things had been bopping along very well indeed. In the last couple of days I have received several job leads - acted upon a few (some in Montreal which will please at least one member of my small family); visited briefly with a few friends and former colleagues; found out Ceyhan, who has been my friend for over 20 years joined the Half Century club today (Happy Birthday!!); garnered help with tomorrow's eviction of the boxspring (thanks, Deb); ran into another former colleague quite by chance at Trailhead and had another long chat; inflated both tires on the lonely sport utility trailer; reorganized much of my small space and eliminated the need for one set of shelves; did not have any further contact with my landlord; talked to my daughter several times; and finally: enjoyed many pain-free hours thanks to the anti-inflammatories I can now ingest.
Marvellous - huh? Funny how one bit of information can (temporarily) eclipse these positive, moving toward normalcy happenings.
There's an event in my family's history that shocks a lot of people when I tell them and shocked my siblings at the time as well. The instigator of this event was careful to keep me from getting any inkling of what was taking place but I wasn't surprised or shocked when I received the astonished calls from the rest of the players with the same question: "Why?" At that time, my experiences with the main character had given me some basis for the insight that allowed me to come up with the answer: "Money."
Today it is my turn. An event is taking place that was carefully planned much in advance and about which I have been studiously kept in the dark. So I asked myself "Why was I not told?" Seems a simple thing to answer, really: "Because you weren't invited." Which just changes the subject of the inquiry. So why wasn't I invited? Logically it would be "Because you weren't welcome." Again, one more subject for the inquiry.
It is a momentous event, discussions of the possibilities of which have taken place several times but always left at the vague pre-planning stage because one or both of the key players (the planner and/or the momentous other) was not comfortable or was believed not to be comfortable entertaining anything more. In fact, I was in daily telephone contact when the momentous, but unplanned precursor threw today's planner into an emotional tailspin. I, and another member of my immediate family, have expressed great interest in participating in this event. Still we were left in the dark.
I'm resolving to listen to myself now. Not long ago I told myself that in situations such as these, "Why is not as important as What. " Even more important is how I think about what has happened. I have little interest in a lopsided relationship like this. So, yeah, "Bite Me" it is.
Back to marvellous now. Thanks for listening.
0) { ?>Um, I'm not sure but I think you might be refering to M & T getting to meet N this weekend. Much of what you've written here is far too criptic for me to make sense of.
When I reread it I wondered what the heck the money reference was about, and think maybe it's not about what I thought.
Anyway if you're trying to say you're upset with me and you'd like an explanation you need to be more direct, I can hardly respond to things I'm not sure mean me.
Then I read about an 'event, carefully planned much in advance', and think, no, it can't be my thing as it was not planned much in advance at all, but rather thrown together at the last moment, and was not confirmed as a go until the night before.
As for the 'not wanted' remark, nothing could be further from the truth. Who, when arranging a casual meeting for a drink, thinks to invite people who live in other cities? 'Studiously kept in the dark." This is what makes me think I'm misreading this and it's not at all about what I think.
And the bite me remark leaves me entirely baffled. Am I to understand that without any explanation on why things went together the way they did, you've decided that a relationship with me or N is too lopsided?
I see you feel hurt and excluded. I assure you, you were not excluded, there are reasonable causes for how this all came together. But it sounds like you've already made your mind up, and that you feel we 'owe' you an explantion.
As it happens, she is anxious to meet you, as I have told her about what you have meant to me in my life. Also she has heard me often comment on how she looks not unlike you in ways. Of course, behaving like this, and the 'bite me' comment could mitigate that, I'm thinking.
I can only hope I am wrong and that this cryptic entry is about some other family event, which could easily be the case as much of this doesn't make much sense.
So if you have a problem and would like to talk, call your sister. If you've already decided you know all about what was going on and that you were being purposely excluded and you're not having that, the world can just, 'Bite me", maybe don't call your sister.
Otherwise glad to hear about your job offers, I'm excited for you. And about the future boxspring ectomy, sounds like it would be a very irritating thing to be finally rid of.
Hope you have a good day,
Love Linda